just the two of us.

It's been a few months now since my two-and-a-half year relationship with a beautiful boy in beautiful jumpers ended. My heart still aches when I think about it all too much, but I'm only now realising how together we really were. There are still a few people knocking about here that don't know that we are broken up, and it's in these fleeting moments when I've encountered said oblivious individuals, I've come to realise that I don't think I'll ever really be able to get away from him, or the relationship, while we're still both living here. I can't go to Holland & Barrett without the ladies that work there asking about him or telling me that he's just been in and bought the ginger again and hope his stomach isn't playing up still. I can't go to the vintage shop without being asked if he's still working in Caffe Nero. I can't go to these places any more because they so strongly associate us as a two-some. And it's not as if I'm lying to them when I say "oh yeah, he's fine, he just hasn't been in because he's at home for the week", because it's true. I know that he's fine and recently went home for a visit, because we do still talk occasionally. But it is still painful being reminded of all the things we were. Although I'm no longer bitter about how things ended, or holding any hard feelings towards him, I think distancing myself from it all is what's best for me.

An unexpected message from a friend of a bygone era has left me rather nostalgically blue. Forgotten memories held in an old picture have me aching for the life I had some number of years ago. I've been doing that a lot lately- wishing for how things used to be.

all of life is a coming home.

So I've been away from the blogging world for a while, and I think it's time I made my way back. Today's post will simply be this: http://www.nicolajewell.com/

This weekend has been filled with so many favourites my head wants to explode.

Friday we had a BYOB (bring your own burger) party at Omid and Amy's flat and attempted (but mostly failed) a giant game of charades. As a Cleasby this game is ingrained within my very being, however, other members of attendees were not so familiar with the game, and so very African. Which had hilarious consequences. We also played Jungle Speed, a fast-paced card game designed to blow your mind and your nerves.

Saturday morning I met Josh for a brew in Nero, complained about how the universe is seriously messing up my plans right now (blog post about that to come), and watched on of Bangor's treasures dance around and sing along to his boom box in the centre of town. He's amazing, if a wee bit delusional.

After this I met Amy, Shirin and Lua and went back to Nero (we love our coffee) after a failed venture to get Amy's eyebrows threaded! Here we made our evening plans: to go to Noodle One for some awesome dinner, then to borrow a projector, set it up in the living room and watch Django Unchained on the wall. It was a second time watch for me (definitely recommend watching it more than once, such a cracking film, and Jamie Foxx is bad ass), made interesting by the rule of eating a chocolate every time the N word was said. And it was said a lot. This concluded Saturday.

Sunday, we played badminton and made glorious salads. My evening was already spoken for with the return of Thomas from his weekend in Spain, and of Professor Brian Cox to our telly boxes in The Wonders of Life. Oh, how I adore his brain and dulcet northern tones.

a long walk.

Today Tom and I took the longest walk ever over the Menai bridge to have an explore around Anglesey. I took two of my cameras to try and get some nice pictures, but unfortunately I can't show them yet as they're both film cameras! I'm excited to get them developed once I've snapped a few more.

We set off at half two and made our way over the bridge and far away to a small beach/seaweed covered expanse of pebbles at the waterfront of a beautiful castle-like hotel. En route we passed an adorable knitting shop in Menai Bridge that I'm going to make a special trip back to rummage around next week.

After taking pictures of wintery mountains and lavender skies on a variety of contraptions, we shimmied back up the steps to have a meal at Dylan's. As we got closer to the restaurant I noticed a new shop by its side that looked like it would sell some yummy jams for me to purchase, but to my surprise, when we walked through the door we were greeted by a slightly portly man who almost instantly proceeded to elaborate on all of the obscure bottles of beer he was peddling! I had to hand it to him, he knew a lot about his products and some of them really were unusually interesting. Beer, however, is not for me, so I stood back and perused the coffee and tea while Tom was engrossed.

After buying a bottle of 'Lion' stout (which was supposed to be like Guinness, but better), we pottered round the corner to take a pew at Dylan's and have some delicious food. Which it was, especially the Caerphilly and Quinoa salad. It had pomegranate in it which was a real treat for my taste buds. Amazing. I don't usually get this excited about salads, but this one was tip top. Another salad I couldn't stop thinking about for months was one that seemed very in vogue in Dublin at the time we visited: butternut squash, beetroot and goat's cheese salad. You should try it.

By the time we were ready to leave it was after 8 o'clock and very dark outside, and as the brave kids we are, we took the forest route back to the bridge. I made the mistake of accidentally scaring Tom with a brief Slender Man comment (the most terrifying computer game out there, I urge you to try it, it's a right hoot). After that we shuffled quite quickly through the woods.

It was a very long walk, but so much more exciting than a session at the gym. I have a few photos to share that I took on my phone, so feast your eye balls on the beauty that is North Wales (and the side of my boyfriend's head).

something interesting i read today.

"...it has been suggested that while adult second language learners may become perfectly proficient in their use of syntax, typically these people retain a persistent foreign accent in the second language, suggesting that the critical age for mastering the phonological system may be earlier than for syntax."

Taken from Developmental Disorders of Language and Learning, by Charles Hulme and Margaret J. Snowling.

what a busy bee i'll be.

So, 2013 looks like its going to become a very busy year for me. I'm going to need more than my diary to keep up with all these commitments; I'll need an entire file scheduling my life down to the hour.

I currently have two jobs: I work in a Japanese restaurant as a waitress/ food prep girl, and at Bangor university as a note-taker for disabled students. Managing those two has been interesting enough, but now I'm adding voluntary work at a school with a speech and language therapist, and possibly a 10-week course in British Sign Language. All this, plus a relationship, is going to get messy. But, as my good friend said to me last night, all things will fall into place, and confirmations will come. And looking at a few emails I received today, it sure seems that way.

By the time graduation came around for me last July, I hadn't a scooby of what I wanted to do next, and I felt like I was in graduation limbo. I hadn't found a job yet (then lo' and behold, months later, three came along at once, mental!), and I wasn't prepared to rush into a post-grad course just for the sake of feeling like I had direction. I also wasn't prepared to go home. With fewer opportunities for finding myself back in Burnley, I stuck it out in my wonky student house, and kept somewhat busy by doing paid psychology experiments (that may seem weird, but it's actually very educational and you help out a fellow student). It was a very difficult few months for me, being in limbo, and I'm determined to never go back. And so, manic schedule and new learning opportunities, I welcome you with open arms. I have a feeling we're going to get along just fine.

This is completely irrelevant, it's just a picture I took of my rug while I was writing this. Ciao for now.